I am in LA, it's 10pm and I feel knackered. I only got here yesterday so the jet lag is hitting hard (it's 6am UK time)... I would go to sleep if I didn't have a flight to catch tonight at 1am, to go to Panama City and then on to Quito, Ecuador, where I am meeting my family for a fabulous trip to the Galapagos Islands.
The big news is that I passed my driving test on Sunday. I have been trying to get my license for seven years, and had already failed five tests, so this is truly a triumph. Oh yes - watch out you other road users... I cannot WAIT to join you. I thanked the examiner as if I was a candidate in X factor who'd just been told by Cheryl she's through to the next round, and I gave Walter, my very fat, Chilian instructor who makes outrageously racist jokes all the time, a huge kiss on the cheek, and he blushed bright pink.
I was here in LA doing a show today. It was one of those very rare shows where the designer actually booked girls older than 22. Indeed, Alex Wek, Caroline Ribiero and I had a good old catch up, reminiscing on the crazy days and catching up on gossip. The catwalk was a lot shorter than usual, and there was no champagne, and each girl had eight looks instead of 3. Fashion clearly is not escaping the hard times.
Oh, last night, after arriving and doing a two hour fitting, I went to meet my friend Anthony James (fantastic artist - does amazing sculptures involving mirrors and branches) and his beautiful and lovely wife, actress extraordinaire Phoebe James, for dinner at the Chateau Marmont. I didn't realize it would take 1.5 hours to get there (this job is in somewhere called Orange County - its miles away from the LA I know!) but it was worth it all the same. We sat outside - I ate the delicious steak they do and drank lots of white wine. At the end of the meal though, some idiot guy called Federico someone or other who thinks he's a big shot (I was soon to discover), collects art, and who I've met a few times in NY came over and asked Anthony if he could 'borrow' me for a second. Anthony quite rightly said he'd better ask me, which he did... I asked why... he said he wanted to introduce me to some people he was sitting with. I said no thanks, he said, come on, please, don't be silly, just a minute, at which point my curiosity got the better of me I'm afraid and I obliged. I went over to be sat at a table next to Ali G, who was engrossed in a conversation with the person on his left... Federico rudely interrupted him to introduce him to me... I could see his annoyance and felt like a complete plonker. He sweetly made an effort to talk to me... but all I could think was "what the hell am I doing here? Why did I let this idiot man steal me away from my friends so that he could show off to Ali G that he's friends with a model? ... Oh god - this is one of the funniest men in the world, and I want to tell him that, but that must be the first thing that comes out of everyone's mouth - that or - oh please do your Borat impression! and he must get bored of that..." so instead, somehow.. god knows how, I got us onto the conversation of fox hunting, and how its really not as cruel as people think... He looked baffled. Then Federico jumped in to say, "Hey Sasha, this girl's a huge maardel, she's so successful - she's proabably earned more money than you have" (absolute bollucks). I was embarrassed. It was gotesque - some people really do only think about money and think their own standing in society is measured purely on how much 'success' they have sitting at their table. Ali G looked as unimpressed as I would be if the roles were reversed. I promptly excused myself, promised Federico I'd call him next time I was in LA so we could have lunch, went back to my table and deleted his number from my phone immediately. Lesson: do not, under any circumstances, be so curious as to ever think it might be a good idea to follow someone you don't know well, to a table of strangers, especially in West Hollywood the night after the Golden Globes!
Must go and catch my flight to Equador... I shall be keeping you all posted on my Darwin inspired adventures!